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The Art of Finding Closure | Khutbah
We often run away from trauma and difficult conversations thinking life gets easier, but in reality things only fester and get worse. The Prophet ﷺ taught us how to seek and find closure whether in relation to a conflict or a tragedy so that we can move closer to Allah and His pleasure.
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.
We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, by bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him. And we bear witness that Muhammad (ﷺ) is His final messenger.
We ask Allah to send His peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him and those that follow in his blessed path until the Day of Judgment. And we ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen.
Dear brothers and sisters, first and foremost, today is a day in which we have two janazahs in our community. And subhanAllah, death is very uncomfortable and it's a very uncomfortable conversation.
But we have a mother who passed away, sister Suhad, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala have mercy on her and accept her on this day of Jumu'ah and protect her from the punishment of the grave and elevate her rank. Allahumma ameen.
And we have a mother who passed away, she is a mother of three, with her husband, her children, her grandchildren, and we have a child named Yusuf, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow him to intercede for his parents on the Day of Judgment.
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allow him to be a source of mercy and comfort for the generations before him and those that come after. Allahumma ameen. And death is a very uncomfortable conversation.
We had a young sister in our community that passed away, sister Sara, 32 years old. May Allah 'azza wa jal have mercy on her, a young mother.
And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for her husband Yusuf and her child. Allahumma ameen. And we saw sabrun jameel, beautiful patience in her husband.
And subhanAllah, I want to go to a conversation that I had for this khutbah. And I said death is an uncomfortable conversation, and the Prophet (ﷺ) wanted it to make us uncomfortable.
In fact, the Prophet (ﷺ) told us to remember it precisely because it makes us uncomfortable. It's called hadimul ladhat, as the Prophet (ﷺ) said, a destroyer of pleasures.
The Prophet (ﷺ) wanted us to go to the graveyard so that we could reflect on our own graves. The Prophet (ﷺ) wanted us to see that even those who we remember being so full of life, one day their ending will be our ending.
And so it's meant to provoke discomfort and uncomfortable conversations. When I went to visit the people who had made it out of Gaza in Qatar,
where they have a center for amputees and people that are being treated. It was one conversation, subhanAllah, where one brother pulled me to the side,
and like pretty much everyone else there, had lost, if not his entire family, multiple members of his family. And he asked me in Arabic, he didn't know who I was, he didn't know anything about me.
He said, are you a shaykh? And I said, khayr, what is it? He said, I want to ask you something. I need to talk to a shaykh. I need to talk to somebody. He said, khayr, inshaAllah.
So he went on to tell me about how he lost everyone in his family, including his wife. And he says to me, I don't doubt that she's a martyr.
I don't doubt her shahada or what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has promised to her. But I can't forgive myself because the last conversation that we had was not a good conversation.
So I'm not worried about her, and everyone's telling me, may Allah accept her shahada. And I know my wife is a shahida and all that, but I'm worried because we didn't have a good final conversation.
And he starts going on like, as if he has to justify this to me, spoiled kid who's never faced any hardship like these people have faced. You know, it was tough, and the starvation, and they're moving us from place to place,
and then this person died, as if he has to justify why he had a bad last conversation with his wife. And subhanAllah, I couldn't shake that conversation, and I wanted to bring it today,
first and foremost, not to say to that person, in fact, we would say to that person, may Allah forgive you and the beautiful memories that you had together. They don't go away with one conversation. And bi-idhnillahi ta'ala, all of that is preserved.
And your wife will intercede for you as a martyr, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala. But I wanted to build on the sentiment that was conveyed. Because let's face it, none of us have faced anything like these people have faced. None of us.
I remember when brother Faiz, when his mother passed away, and we did her janazah here, and as we were going to the graveyard, he made the observation, subhanAllah, these people don't even have the dignity or the ability to bury their loved ones in peace.
Like who would have thought, we say alhamdulillah, for the ability to have a janazah. For the ability to bury our loved ones in peace. But it was this idea of closure. When you look at the Prophet (ﷺ) and his life,
the Prophet (ﷺ) was incredible at mastering, just like every other element of his life, the art of closure. The Prophet (ﷺ) understood when he was talking to someone
that that might be the last time he speaks to someone. The Prophet (ﷺ) when he says that pray as if it's your last prayer, wa la takallam bi-kalamin ta'tadhiru minhu ghadan Don't say something that you'll have to apologize for tomorrow.
You don't find any incidents with the Prophet (ﷺ) where he wishes he didn't say something to someone right before they died. Or the Prophet (ﷺ) regretting any type of interaction, because his relationships, 'alayhi salatu was salam,
they revolved around what he taught, this idea of the Akhirah. And so, you know, when we're talking about the Prophet (ﷺ) forgiving people, we're talking about Fath Makkah, and these people that caused him so much harm.
How is it that the Prophet (ﷺ) is able to forgive? How is it that the Prophet (ﷺ) is able to close that chapter? Or what was necessary of that chapter? And I want to talk about that for a bit, bi-idhnillahi ta'ala.
It's because the Prophet (ﷺ) understood that you can't close certain doors in your life unless you're trying to keep other ones open. And let me talk about that for a moment.
One of the greatest tricks of shaitan that we know of is procrastination. And we talk about procrastination in regards to our salah. We talk about procrastination as we should, because our relationship with Allah, subhanAllah, is the most consequential relationship in our lives.
We talk about procrastination with this and procrastination with that. But what about the people and the problems in our lives? People and problems.
You cannot close certain doors unless you're trying to keep other doors open. And for us as Muslims, that means first and foremost that door with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
And so I want you to imagine your life as a bunch of doors. Some of those doors are the doors of shaitan. Some of those doors are doors between you and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. How many times do you let shaitan keep a door open for you?
How many times do you shut a door that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has opened for you? This is the only exercise that I want each and every single one of us, and I want us to be deeply uncomfortable starting with myself.
All of us be a little bit uncomfortable here and think about the doors in our lives and try to interrogate ourselves for a moment. Every door that's in our lives. The Prophet (ﷺ) said,
Don't say the word if because, That that word if opens the doors of shaitan. If only I would have done this, if only I would have done that,
if only this would have been different, this outcome would have been different. And you see people who don't understand qadr, that beat themselves over the head for the rest of their lives because they think this could have been done differently, this could have been done differently. And it's not regretting an action,
it's thinking that you're in control of the outcome. If I would have gotten there this quickly, or if I would have gone to this hospital, or if I would have taken that turn, or if this would have happened, then maybe my mom would still be alive.
Maybe my dad would still be alive. Maybe my brother would still be alive. And the Prophet (ﷺ) is saying that word if opens the doors of shaitan. And you see people torture themselves. Every single time someone passes away,
torture themselves over that word. If, if, this doctor, that hospital, this person detected earlier, this would have changed this, this would have changed that. And the Prophet (ﷺ) is saying you can't keep a door
between you and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala open unless you're willing to shut that door of shaitan. Did you ever hear the Prophet (ﷺ) who loved Khadijah (رضي الله عنها) the way that he loved her? Saying, you know, if only I would have taken her to Abyssinia,
maybe migrated to Abyssinia, Khadijah (رضي الله عنها) would still be alive. Maybe if I would have done this earlier, Abu Talib would still be with us. Maybe if I wouldn't have listened to those companions who disagreed with my opinion on Uhud,
to go out and to fight people outside of Medina, in the process of shura, maybe Hamza (رضي الله عنه) would still be here. None of that is there. Completely absent. Not because the Prophet (ﷺ) is not a self-accountable person,
but because the Prophet (ﷺ) is a man who manifests tawakkul, trust in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. He shuts that gate to shaitan. Shaitan has no door to enter and to interfere with qadr. You have closure with tragedy as a believer. 'Ajaban li-amri al-mu'min
How amazing is the affair of the believer. You have such closure because you know, lan yusibana illa ma kataba Allahu lana lan yusibana illa ma kataba Allahu lana Nothing will strike us unless Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has written it for us. Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah Closure. While people spend decades trying to come to terms with tragedy, trying to come to terms with something, if this, if that, closure. You shut that door of shaitan. That's one door and it's a huge door.
That Ibn 'Abbas (رضي الله عنه) destroys tawheed, destroys your monotheism. Shut that door. Absolutely no entry from confronting tragedy. Alhamdulillah That doesn't mean that we don't have to go through exercises sometimes,
to try to get over things and come to terms with them in a better way. In fact, taking advantage of those things is one of the ways in which you submit yourself to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. By not entertaining a door of shaitan.
No, I'm going to make this a door between me and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Because this tragedy might be the reason that I enter into Jannah, if I'm patient with it. And I could not have changed any outcomes. The outcomes were already predetermined. Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah Closure. Then there are problems. When it comes to confronting problems. Procrastination with those problems.
And subhanAllah, we accustom ourselves to thinking problems go away, problems don't go away, problems are solved. Problems don't go away, problems are solved. But you tell yourself,
if I delay solving this problem, maybe it'll be forgotten. If I push it off, if I push it off, if I push it off. And in the process, how much destruction, how much havoc,
because we don't confront problems head on. Dear brothers and sisters, how many marriages fall apart? Not because anyone's a bad person,
but because a problem shows itself and you don't confront the problem, you just hope it'll go away. And then it shows itself later on again and again, and it becomes more and more vicious. Confront your problems.
The Prophet (ﷺ) taught us how to step up and immediately shut a door. Shut a door, immediately. Have you ever heard of the Prophet (ﷺ) and the way that he dealt with his family life,
'alayhi salatu was salam, in this way, leaving the doors of shaitan open? Did he leave that room? No, shut the door. Find out what it is. Try to remedy problems as quickly as you can. Step up to it.
Problems don't go away. Problems are solved. The Prophet (ﷺ) confronted problems. That's from the sunnah and how we find closure. And believing that Allah 'azza wa jal will change the situation if you do your best.
And if the situation does not change, then that is for the better, alhamdulillah. But at least closure is that I confronted a problem. I stepped up to it. I did what I had to do. I didn't ignore it. I didn't put it off.
I tried my best to step up to the problem. And then people. And when it comes to people, this is the most difficult one. Because it gets very complicated
when it comes to human relationships. So complicated. When Allah 'azza wa jal talks about all the characteristics that he's given to us, of haste, we're hasty, not just with Allah, we're hasty with each other.
Hasty to throw people off. Hasty to throw words. Hasty to kill either in the physical or the metaphorical sense. When Allah 'azza wa jal talks about that arrogance,
it's not just the arrogance that stops a person from being able to prostrate themselves to Allah 'azza wa jal. The arrogance to put down that ego with each other.
So unbelievably stubborn with each other. With each other. And the worst part of that is when it comes to the people that are closest to us, starting with our parents.
I want to make every single one of us reflect on this a bit, dear brothers and sisters. SubhanAllah, how many people have issues with their parents? The Prophet (ﷺ) says, al-walidu awsatu abwabi al-jannah
Your father is the middle gate of paradise. In shi'ta adi' dhalika al-bab If you wish, lose that door. Otherwise, ihfadh-hu, preserve it. Your father is the middle gate between you and paradise.
Rectify that relationship. Put yourself down as much as you can. Try to rectify it. Don't try to get into Jannah through a side door or through something smaller. You don't know how much time you have. Closure. Confront.
Close the door. Make sure that your parents don't sleep angry with you. And if your father is your middle gate of Jannah, your mother, the Prophet (ﷺ) said to the young man, al-jannatu tahta aqdamiha
That paradise is under her feet. Confront it. Close that door. Don't think of an option of trying to get around. Are there exceptions in the Shari'ah? Yes, there are exceptions in the Shari'ah.
Allah 'azza wa jal did not give a blank check to anyone to wrong someone else. And yes, there are oppressions that can move certain things away. From the norm of these ahadith. But I'm telling you the exceptions
are not the exceptions that we make them in our congregations. The exceptions are meant to be minor exceptions. Very rare in a community. Solving those problems. How much time do you have?
How much time do you have? But if you start thinking about a door of Jannah that could be shut to you, the middle gate, or the woman whose feet are above it for you.
If you think of your door with Allah 'azza wa jal being compromised, then maybe that will break your ego a little bit more. Maybe that will allow you to swallow it a bit and to say, you know what? I'm not willing to lose my Jannah.
I'm not willing to lose my middle gate of Jannah. I'm not willing to lose my entrance into Jannah. I'm gonna shut that door of shaitan who tells me, who puffs me up with arrogance. Wa alladhi qala li-walidihi uffin lakuma Who puffs me up with arrogance
to speak to my parents in a certain way. I'm going to shut that devil up. Shut the door of that devil because I don't want to lose the door with Allah 'azza wa jal. Closure. Shut it quickly.
When the Prophet (ﷺ) talks about two brothers. May Allah 'azza wa jal guide our hearts and rectify our situation. The Prophet (ﷺ) said
tuftahu abwabu al-jannati yawma al-ithnayn wa yawma al-khamis fa-yughfaru li-kulli 'abdin la yushriku billahi shay'an illa rajulan kanat baynahu wa bayna akhihi shahnan That the gates of paradise are opened every Monday and Thursday.
The deeds are elevated to Allah 'azza wa jal. And Allah 'azza wa jal forgives every single person who does not associate a partner with Allah 'azza wa jal. Except for two brothers who have hatred between them.
Allah 'azza wa jal says andhiru hadhayni hatta yastaslihaa Leave these two until they reconcile amongst themselves. The doors of heaven are shut to them. Do you understand the implications
for each and every single one of us? The doors of heaven are shut to them hatta yastaslihaa until they reconcile. And so if someone is feeling that
akhadhat-hu al-'izzatu bil-ithm Where 'izzah holds them bil-ithm Where arrogance holds them and allows them to keep on sinning. The Prophet (ﷺ) says la yahillu li-mri'in muslim
an yahjura akhahu fawqa thalath fa-yaltaqiyan fa-yu'ridu hadha wa yu'ridu hadha wa khayruhuma alladhi bada'a bis-salam The Prophet (ﷺ) said it is not permissible for two brothers. Imagine, he's speaking to Medina.
People killed each other's parents here. People fought each other in way worse ways. And the Prophet (ﷺ) was the first person to manifest this in his life. And he says two brothers ignore each other for over three days. And so they see each other.
Yaltaqiyan And they walk away from each other. They try to avoid each other. How many of us can honestly say that this hadith is not a direct indictment of us in some way? And they both turn away from each other.
And the Prophet (ﷺ) is saying the best of you is the one who starts with the salam, who begins the salam, who initiates the salam first. And he said (ﷺ) man hajara akhahu sanatan fa-huwa ka-safki damihi
The one who ignores their brother for a year is like the one who spills their blood. And there's so much depth to that. Because here's what happens at that point.
Where you reject al-islah. Where you reject, because of our own arrogance, we reject that. What happens is that that person becomes the shaitan to you.
Ka-safki damihi The scholars say the crime and the gravity is like you're killing that person. And also that it would be easy for you to spill the blood of that person. Why? And this is what it all comes down to and what I want to bring it back to
for all of us, especially as we have two janazahs in front of us. Why is that? The Prophet (ﷺ) did not close chapters in his book.
But he did (ﷺ) change narrators. He did not allow the shaitan to be the narrator of his story, of those relationships. And someone says,
well what about my rights? What about my reward with Allah 'azza wa jal? Wa al-ya'fu wa al-yasfahu a-la tuhibbuna yaghfira Allahu lakum What about my position? The Prophet (ﷺ) says, ma zada Allahu 'abdan bi-'afwin
illa 'izzatan Allah does not increase a servant of His in forgiveness except that He increases him in glory, in honor. Dear brothers and sisters, we have to change the way we behave with each other.
We have to learn to shut, shut these doors of shaitan. Between us and Allah 'azza wa jal, and between us amongst each other, especially with our families, especially with those
that are closest to us. If you don't like the last thing that you said to your parents, if you don't like the last thing that you said to your spouse, the last thing that you said to your children, change it. Change the tune. Someone says, but it's awkward to confront
these things. It's awkward to, you know, to say salam and to, it's awkward to do this. It's awkward to forgive. It's awkward. It's uncomfortable. Dear brothers and sisters, that moment of distress
or that moment of discomfort is worth the relief of the entire day of judgment. That moment of awkwardness is worth the anxiety on the day of judgment, wondering, wait a minute, what about this and what about that?
And in fact, it's even worth it in this world too. SubhanAllah, a person who sleeps with their heart empty of those things by confronting them, confronting the past trauma, confronting the problems, confronting the issues with their parents,
confronting and reconciling and being willing always to have that heart to forgive for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and using the right words with one another, that person sleeps well at night
and they rest on the day of judgment on the day of judgment as well. You know what? SubhanAllah, you look at this entire person of the Prophet (ﷺ) and how he dealt with this and there is not a single person
in the entire seerah, villain or companion, that could say that the Prophet (ﷺ) mistreated me. So you say, well I try. I'm ready to close the door. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready.
But the other person is not. Keep your door open with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. If that person wants to shut their door with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, that's between them and Allah 'azza wa jal. But keep your door to the heavens open.
Every single one of us has to interrogate ourselves with that. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to have mercy on the loved ones that have passed away today. And I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to forgive them for their shortcomings. And I ask Allah to forgive us
for our shortcomings. And I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to guide our hearts away from arrogance, away from ego. I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to allow us to be amongst those that seek honor and glory from Him and Him alone.
And I ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to allow us to be amongst those who shut the doors of shaitan in their lives and who keep the doors open with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Allahumma ameen. Aqoolu qawli hadha wa astaghfirullah li wa lakum wa li-sa'iri al-muslimeen fa-istaghfiruhu innahu huwa al-ghafur ar-raheem.
Alhamdulillah wa salatu wa salamu 'ala rasulillah wa 'ala alihi wa sahbihi wa man walah.
Rabbana la tuzigh qulubana ba'da idh hadaytana wa hab lana min ladunka rahmatan innaka anta al-wahhab. Rabbana innaka jami'u an-nasi li-yawmin la rayba fihi. Inna Allaha la yukhlifu al-mi'ad. Rabbana la tu'akhidhna in nasina aw akhta'na. Rabbana wa la tahmil 'alayna isran
kama hamaltahu 'ala alladhina min qablina. Rabbana wa la tuhammilna ma la taqata lana bihi. Wa'fu 'anna wa ghfir lana wa arhamna. Anta mawlana fa-nsurna 'ala al-qawmi al-kafireen. Wa salamu 'ala al-mursaleen wa al-hamdu lillahi rabbi al-'alameen.


































































































































































































































































































